For memory’s sake

Though nothing special about this particular number (17), other than it’s too big, I still want to write something. I have to wait for another 17 days to end something memorable and to start something wonderful (I hope). The excitement of being there again outweights the enjoyment of the current days, causing the endless waiting. As they said, the last mile is the most difficult mile, and it’s very true. Indeed, this 17-day period seems like 71-day to me. Not only one day is long, every minute is crawling.

Rationally, logically and me-ly, I should be fully enjoying this last 17 days. But unfortunately, the enjoyment is just partly. Knowing that I’ll miss this place a lot, miss the beauty of nature, miss the peacefulness, miss the language, miss the people, miss my life here; I can’t help looking forward to June (or rather May 31).

I’ll be back soon, to join my first and second selves, making me complete.

Chưng hửng, giận người để rồi giận chính mình, trách người để rồi tự thấy tủi thân. Giống như một con chim lạc lối giữa trời rộng, cố tìm nghe một âm thanh quen thuộc rồi vội cánh bay, và nhận ra đó chỉ là âm thanh của ký ức hay của niềm hi vọng. Bấu víu và lo lắng sợ hãi. Tưởng rằng đã tìm được chốn quen, chim dốc sức chút chăm vun xới, nhưng không để làm gì, rừng đã quên chim.

Đôi khi những gì ta cho đi với cả tấm lòng không phải cái người khác cần, và ta giận mình sao lỡ “nối sợi dây dài”. Có lúc ta dốc cả bầu tâm sự và những tưởng đã được cảm thông và tri kỷ là đây, nhưng chuyện của ta cũng chỉ là cơn gió thoảng qua, có ai quan tâm chứ.

Ta tình nguyện quan tâm, ta mong ngóng dõi theo và cay đắng hay buồn cười nhận ra chỉ là ta tự làm khổ mình thế thôi, không ai đánh giá cao hay thậm chí cần điều đó cả. Chắc lẽ ta ngờ nghệch quá mà.

Hãy giữ lại cho mình để tấm lòng ta không là tấm thảm đỏ, có đặc biệt thì cũng chỉ là để lót chân người đi.

(John Lennon)

Love is real, real is love,
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you,
You and me,
Love is knowing,
We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.

Only recently that I discovered there’s such a nice place neighboring Stockholm, all it takes is a 45-min bus ride from KTH and oops, I’m away from the busy city and surrounded with nature.

Vaxholm is a small and lovely town, which locates many summer houses of Stockholm-ers. Hence, most of houses are decorated in very relaxing and refreshing styles. Wooden houses with gardens of different sizes, white fence runs around the house, small lanes with very few cars, forest is all around, slopes of flowers, sea and sun…even the second-hand market gives a calm feeling.

Stepping on the island, I felt relaxed and calm, smile…

The Vaxholm castle, trust me, it looks much more appealing in photo in compared with live view.

Navigating the town

A little harbor The third guard The second-hand market, where I got my soft toyS and hand puppetS. Here you don’t see the typical second hand market atmostphere where people are ready to cheat you, but family “business” with kids selling their soft toys or helping parents giving changes. Things look like a game to me. Relax… Starting of the forest, which runs along the sea.

Nice houses I’m holding my lunch.

Looks great! Connecting… You can see these white flower “carpets” everywhere in the forest. Behind the restaurant, where our lunch supposed to be, but it was closed. Hence we headed back hungry 😦 Wonderful scenery. Remember this bridge? A view of the main island (the island with the town) The best burger ever, since I hadn’t been fed for 8 hours. This marks the end of the journey. Now I know that Stockholm is an ideal place for sight-seeing. For those nature lovers, come here and enjoy!

We work hard to win trust from people, since once you have it, you possess the key to success. While it takes lots of effort obtaining trust, one second might flood it away just like how wave distroys sand castle. If you talk to people, the normal say would be “once you betray me, I’ll never trust you again”, but it’s different for my case. I guess I trust and grand people second chance easily. I also don’t know why that is the case but maybe I just find the easy way out. It’s hard to keep doubting and putting on harsh attitude. And I like the feeling of seeing people happy when they are given another chance. The whole world is smiling to you when you are forgiven by one person. Everytime I forgive, I think of all the good plans the person have in mind. For that one reason, I find it so easy to forgive and be understanding.

But maybe I have forgotten that the wound will be deepened if it is touched again.

Maybe plans are still plans no matter how good they are.

Maybe I’m too naive thinking that I can change a person by forgiving him.

Maybe I’ve been looking at the world through a pink prism.

Children bring me smiles. They make my day for just doing simple things like sitting quietly on the bus, talking nonsense to each other, or looking at me. I keep looking at groups of kids going to the museum nearby my hostel and wish I were the teacher.

Like angels, with innocent eyes, clean voice, cute hands, vulnerable feet… they step into the world, fresh and curious.

I should have… but reality holds me back.

I cherish greenery, no matter that is a huge tree, a small plant, or a little grass. I dream of being surrounded by tree. I find enjoyment looking at them. I find their lives interesting to learn more about.

If only… but maybe trees are not sound enough.

I’m hurt when I see any animal is hurt. For them being a living creature, I’d love treating them as human in terms of emotion and care. Taking care of animals, observing and protecting them make my life more meaningful day by day. And for those who hate or find animal disgusted, please accept my apology for disliking them.

I wish… but it’s out of my hand now.

Easter break, we booked for a trip of 9 days to Geneva, Amsterdam and Milan. It was tiring yet memorable and nice.

Geneva was expected to be cold and rainy, yet this lovely city welcomed us with wonderful weather, sunny and dry. Known as a rich country, Switzerland offers free public transport for visitors throughout their stays in Geneva (I’m not sure about other parts of Switzerland though), which saved us, poor students, a significant amount. Coming from a cold land like Stockholm, the whole gang was so excited seeing sun and bathing in the weather of  15 celcius degree. Great! Upon arrival at the hostel, we headed for a walk around the area. We saw SEA! Amazing is an understatement. So fresh, so cool, so… I don’t know, just nice… After having fun by the beach, we looked for a place to eat, people here are rich (most of cars on the street are of expensive brands like ferrari, bmw,…), no wonder all meals cost at least 15euros, and I paid 30 for that dinner with steak and cheese fondue, which tasted very weird. Imagine when you put cheese, champange, mushroom together and eat with bread…erhh…

The following day was the main sightseeing time, we tried to cover as many places as possible, which included the UN building, old town and some monuments. Speaking of old town, this was where I got my dreaming Swiss chocolate. Got myself some homemade chocolate, especially Confiseur Läderach, mem mem…

Leaving Geneva, next stop was Amsterdam. The guys were so eager to see Red light district, and so did I. It is interesting to see how prostitution and drug are legally sold here. Each prostitute stands at one glass window, seducing passing-by visitors. To be honest, most of them were not as pretty and sexy as I thought, you know, fat accumulates at certain areas where it is not welcomed; maybe all the good ones were on business, only the left over were available. The second day, as usual, was the sightseeing time. We spent one full day strolling the city, and not forget trying drug at the mushroom store. Some folks got high after a small dose. Anyway, my main agenda for Amsterdam is flowers. Yes! everywhere I go, I see flowers, especially tulips. The third day was reserved for Keukenhof, the world-famous flower garden. I was flooded with flowers, and for the first time in my life, I saw many breeds of flower which I could only either dream of or see on TV. I love it!

Beautiful neighborhood. The windmill.

F-L-O-W-E-R-S

The final destination is Milan, the fashion city. Sadly, it was easter period and all shops were closed throughout our time their. Hence, the fashion trip was amended to church and building trip. It’s still nice nonetheless, since I’m not a shopping person, but rather walking around the city and get a touch on it. Thanks to the closing of the shops, I got to experience more of Italian street, to feel their relaxing and romantic lifestyle, with music on small lanes, coffee shop on the street. So relaxing… Btw, there’re so many elderly around, not good looking girls or guys.

The church. Dandelion, yeah! The modern art gallery. The castle-outside. The castle-inside.

The last day of the trip saw me staying at the hostel due to my sickness. Sob sob…

Packing and flying back to Stockholm, I miss my bed, my room, my laptop and my boyfriend’s face. Stockholm is turning to spring now, green all over. I’m back!

I just love the girl’s expression, pure and tender. A nice one.

A nice trip with nice companies in a nice group.

Arrived in Warsaw on a moody late afternoon, I felt a bit down and not so energetic for the trip ahead. Fortunately, that’s only the beginning. Subsequent activities were interesting enough to keep me flow excitedly.

A walk along the main street with shopping centres and The Palace of Culture and Science, a gift from Stalin to Poland and a shame to most Polish since it reminds them of Russian occupation time.

The walk was followed by a delicious dinner at a Polish restaurant. The place was cozy and traditional enough for us to sense the Polish-ness. I love all the dishes, especially Polish dumplings. They offered grandpa and grandma portions (9 and 11 dumplings respectively).

On the way back, we shopped for groceries. Got myself 1kg of grapes and some chocolate,  mem mem…

The main agenda of the trip is Auschwitz concerntration camp on the following day. Departed at 5am, we reached Kraków at 10am. The tour guide did not forget to depress us with a long documentary film about Nazi and the Jews in the camp. The entire group felt weaken after watching those depressing stuff.

Throughout the 5 hours touring the camp, none of us wanted to take a photo of ourselves and at no time could a smile be found. Too depressed.

The main gate. “Arbeit Match Frei”(“work makes (one) free”).

Gas chamber, where millions of people were mass killed, mainly the Jews.

The railway to the death.

65 years ago, I wouldn’t be able to get out of this entrance once I’d entered.

The lovely tour guide, btw.

We recovered from depression quite fast upon reaching the city center with the amazing town. It’s happening though it’s an old town. Rolling along the street and you’ll get to see a typical Europe central square with church, palace, big fountain. Further there’ll be more churches, museums, souvinirs shops, and restaurants.

The main church, one of Kraków’s symbols.

Horse carriage, I want to be a princess leaving one shoe behind…

But this is all I have…

Wonderful palace. Would it be mine? Hopefully my prince is roaming inside.

Or maybe I should be satisfied with this…

Ladies of the trip.

We made our way to the recommended restaurant. Trust me, the salad sucks.

After that, we caught the night train going back to Warsaw. By the time we settled in the hostel, it’s already 11pm, time for a rest and get prepared for another tour the day after. Our last full day in Poland was filled with palaces and world heritage sites.

Summer palace.

I think I love bushes.

On the way to the palace on the water. The garden of my dream. So romantic, so relaxing, I want to come back with…

There you go, the back of the palace.

Here comes the front.

A beautiful lake with beautiful birds and beautiful visitor.

There were lots of peacocks around, none of them were dancing though.

Next stop, old town of Warsaw, the world’s heritage site.

Both the Royal palace (left) and the column (right) are newly built after WWII since Warsaw was 80% destroyed by the war. These are replica of the same palace and column, symbols of Warsaw.

Guys of the day.

Another old church.

Another square with the Warsaw symbolic mermaid.

After that, we just continued our trip to the New Town, not modern town. Everything still looks old to me though. I noticed several buskers along the street playing different instruments. They played for hours, disregarding the rainfall and the cold.

This is one of them.

Life is tough.

Pack and leave, bye Poland with lovely streets, beautiful palaces, nice food and not to forget, the history woes.

I’ll tell  my kid:

True value lies in what matters to you, not what deems to be important to others.

Happiness is when you don’t have to tell yourself  I’m happy.

Sorrow is where you learn about yourself, so don’t rush over it.

Experiences are not meant to be shown, but to be thought about.

Money is not the ruler of  life, but how you approach it measures your height.

Love is for you to discover, not an extra property to exhibit.

I did not grant you a life, I count on you to shape it. For that, I’m always proud of you.