For memory’s sake

Two new residents have decided to reside in Raffles Hall, bringing new breath to this overquiet hostel, although occasionally they do overemphasize their presence, both of them are on FOC stays. The first one came quite sometimes ago, calmly and quietly. She seems to have an unpleasant history of starvation and homeless, it’s written on her face and her fur that she’s been suffering a tough life. Being too aggressive for food and love, she might be charged for intruding old residents’ peacefulness, privacy and food. Let’s hope people here are generous enough to accomodate her.

The second one is more interesting, he came here following the call of love I guess. I tried to approach him several times yet failed. Not surprising since he’s never been here for me anyway, but rather for that first resident. From his distant look and appearance, I guess he’s also been through a violent life, being chased or bitten or abused by bigger creature(s). Though it’s cool to wear on that distant look sometimes, I still prefer him to be as friendly as his lover, so that I can touch him at least.

Since no abandoned cats refused food, I’m thinking of attracting him with one portion of my dinner.

Welcome to RH, hope the phoenix won’t scare (little) tigers off.

Qủa cau nho nhỏ miếng trầu hôi
Này của Xuân Hương mới quệt rồi
Có phải duyên nhau thì thắm lại
Đừng xanh như lá bạc như vôi.

                                     Hồ Xuân Hương

Time passes by, seeing me getting further from certain people who used to be close. Busy life makes months as short as weeks, weeks as fast as hours and hours is just a matter of a blink. Suddenly I find myself speaking totally differently to them, solely hi-by conversations and before I can realise, we have nothing left to say, feeling odd. Like any dishes without salt, the talks just turn out tasteless. We both ask things we never asked each other before and only give politically correct answers, which was never the case back then. What left in me after these conversations is just emptiness, regretfulness and some thoughts of how people moving away from each other unawarely.

That shows how much important consistent communication is. It takes efforts to maintain relationship-useful communication. A “hi!” definitely does not help. Out of sight, out of touch, I’m no longer informed regularly about what the others do or how the persons are doing. Obviously, it is hard to be caring without sufficient “data input”. One day, one week not seeing each other, feel weird but then “I’m busy”. Another week followed by some other months, I get accustomed to it and my mind is filled up with other things. I doubt is there exist something irreplaceble.

Degree of relationship closeness does play a very crucial role in determining how fast you wipe off the persons’ position in you. Yet, I guess there are many other crucial events/things/persons surrounding us.

Once again, the only certainty is uncertainty in this world of changing. Maybe an apathetic attitude suits best since there’s no point being overenthusiastic about something if I know it will definitely leave me someday.

Why? Nothing…

I’m making a stand here. Under the sun, there’s nothing unacceptable. Times when all negative feelings come from nowhere, failures are all you get or anger keeps feeding you up and you find life is unacceptable. Something shocking bugs you suddenly and it is but unbearable incedent. However, unacceptability is perceptive. The angle at which you’re analysing the issue is just not right to make it acceptable. A slight alteration could make life easier, pushing you across the border of miseries.

The fact only has one shape, it is how you look and approach it makes vast differences. With help from time, a disaster might turns out a blessing in disguised. And not to forget, sometimes a 2D look is better than a 3D one.

Times like this, I wanna go home with people who really love and care for me. Nothing can replace it and noone can ever take their positions. As I grow older, I learn in a hard way that the only place I am surely protected is home, the only persons that set my feelings as their top priority is family. Pure love and care I’m longing for.

I wanna go home.

To many others, this week is just like any other boring weeks, today is no difference from any other routine weekends. To me, it is a special short period, followed by a joyful trip.

Seeing somebody happy, I feel pleasant and grateful. A week of thinking and preparing for one night small event is worth it when I see the person smiled and enjoyed. Wish that enjoyment will come more often to you.

A trip to Changi beach coincidently marks one year of the journey, one year of fluctuations, changes, doubts, improvements, recessions, efforts and love. It would sound normal and eventless to any third party but your presence and company make it irreplaceable.

Beach and sea are perpetually there, nice food is always available, hope the company won’t go missing if I were to visit again.

Don’t know whose birthday it is, mine? Thank you.

“One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high powered over-achievers, he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.”

Then he pulled out a one gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set on the table in front of him. He then produced about a dozen fist sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is the jar full?” Everyone in the class said, “Yes.”

Then he said, “Really?” He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in, and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered.

“Good!” he replied.

He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar, and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is the jar full?” “No!” the class shouted.

Once again he said, “Good!”

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”

One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things in!” “No,” the speaker replied, “That’s not the point.

The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.

What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Your children….Your loved ones…Your education… Your dreams…A worthy cause…..Teaching or mentoring others…. Doing things that you love…Time for yourself…. Your health….Your significant other.”

“Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first, or you’ll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you’ll fill your life with little things to worry about that don’t really matter, and you’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).

So, tonight or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the ‘big rocks’ in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.”

Is my jar full? Should I pour everything out, categorize rock and sand then rearrange them? Rock might become sand and vice versa as life changes.

Wish I had unlimited jars.

Sometimes the urge to write is calling but you have nothing to write so you end up writing “nothing” things like what I’m doing now, still have to fulfil my urge anyway.

Somebody asked what’re important things in a relationship (bgr). Although this can be a potential dissertation/thesis topic for love studies student, I don’t really know how to answer. Anyway, I told him spontaneously “love and trust”. The two are inter-related and must go hand-in-hand to build up a firm relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone can achieve this ideal condition.

Time spent together is also important, yet is it crucial? You never know until you have no time for each other.

Then again, there’s no prove that without love and trust, the relationship will die off, it might survive on compromises, obligations, ignorance, etc. Surprisingly, these things can also stuck people together at times. Such miracles.