For memory’s sake

It is almost end of the semester, only a bit more and I’ll complete this race but I feel neither energetic or excited, rather exhausted. Like they often say, the last mile is the most difficult part. I’m out of passion and energy after Investment paper, maybe since my efforts not seem to be compensated. SEP does not brighten the situation with any good news, in fact, it added troubles to the mess.

I can’t help but feeling like a loser and hopeless. Laziness and boredom hold me back, preventing me from any kind of activities, no interest in either sleeping, eating, going out, chatting, watching clips, no nothing. May my breakdown period has come, in line with the economic crisis.

Lazy to blog as well…

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.”

Hmm… wonder is there exist such nice thing? So far from my limited observation, I haven’t witnessed yet. Even motherhood sees jealousy at times…

It was raining, really hard…

Stepping into the rain, we thought that we wouldn’t get wet much if we were fast enough… almost like just showered after reaching the shelter. I felt cold, very cold, it must be more than 2 or 3 years since I last getting that cold… When, the weather was cold, days of rain, persistently and non-stop rain, the house is small and cosy, the mattress and blanket are thick and soft, the cat is warm, the music is soothing… It was late at night and the whole family was asleep, left with me in the dark enjoying the coldness, yellowish table light, wrapping with layers of blankets, sitting on the bed, hugging the lazy cat, doing homeworks… Occasionally lie down, hide into the warm blanket to disturb the sleeping sister or cuddle the cat…

I can’t really tell whether it is generally a nice feeling or not, I only know that it is memorable and soothing…

I miss… don’t know… something…

Human is a defensive creature, we tend to twist the fact in favor of ourselves and not to give bad impression. These are some common strategies:

-Motivation: work harder for an alternative result to change the negative feedback.

-Disregard: seek for confirming comments to discount the disconfirming ones.

-Twisting: prove that the previous evaluation was wrong.

-Disassociation: it is not my product! and publicly tell that.

-Association: attach the outcome with preferred traits and values or link us to successful/high status groups.

-Devalue: convince the world that the outcome is of no importance.

-Avoidance: hide or run away from any opportunities to receive any further feedback.

-Reducing others’ status: attempting to show that others(especially those caused dissonance) are inferiors to ourselves.

-Irreponsible: the outcomes are due to inevitable external forces outside our control and awareness and should not be attributed to our personalities.

We are smart to cook excuses to turn reality into different dishes. Life is great!

In the mood to right something educational. Who has been through childhood without at least once being caned? And sadly for some, it is associated with their childhood memories. While effectiveness of physical punishment is questionable, painful woes are obvious and no one (neither parents nor kids) would find these punishment series pleasant.

Some cane-fancy adults argue that it is family privacy and the right of parents to discipline their children free of outsider intervention. Some even go to the extent taking violence as primary tools to “educate” their kids, fitting their children into social structure and rules. Like keeping a cat in place by holding its tail, they are disciplining poor children by implanting violence in their behavior. Not surprising that those who conduct family assault had been severely physically punished as a child. Personally, I think hitting a child only give a short-term effect, once the fear has faded away, time for him to rebel more aggressively. Since human instinct always calls for revenge in reponse to physical attack, unless the child was brought up understanding that such punishments are constructive and benefit them. Yet, there’s a limit for everything, including human tolerance.

I believe that for long-lasting behavior change, selective giving and withholding of rewards are more powerful techniques. As offsprings always seek for parents’ approval and support, it is a mentally severe punishment being rejected by parents or significant others. The question is how to balance rewards, and sometimes it will be easier to strike out and blow up at a child than being patient and taking time explaining to them. Thinking of a suitable and proper reward is also much more headache than just simply whacking.

It’s the art of parenting makes good child. Both love and discipline are required.