For memory’s sake

It’s always a sweet memory everytime I have a piggyback ride. The feeling of being carried and supported by your love one(s) is incomparable, regardless of how skillful the person is.

Still remember the days when I ride piggyback almost everyday. Back then my weight is much more managable and of course my teenage/young-adult uncles found no difficulties in lifting and carrying their lovely/cute/pretty 7-year-old niece. For years, I have experienced all kind of piggyback rides around my childhood village, being pampered with different kind of cheap candies/lollies/biscuits and wild fruits, playing with farm animals, showering with kinship love.

As I grow older, either people are too old or I’m too huge that those rides getting lesser and lesser until memory keeps them all without my awareness.

Years gone by, all of a sudden, and out of randomness, my piggyback ride comes back, bringing back nice feelings with some interesting bonus. Realised that piggyback ride between two same-size persons are much more tricky, yet more interesting. It requires proper cooperation, otherwise both will end up on the floor painfully. Being on the back, you must hold on to the person as firmly and closely as possible to maintain a balanced grativity; yes you should not loosen your arms no matter what, unless you want to end the ride… The wide and warm back, the broad shoulders and the sweaty head had kept me holding on disregarding some uncomfortabilities and pains.

Love the rides…

I’m not talking about understanding in its practical meanings where you get what your lecturer says after reviewing notes and tutorials within 2 days reading week or you reach the right place after reading the map whole day but rather to what extent you feel the way people understand something.

It isn’t easy to listen to someone and the more difficult to understand the person. Different individuals, different styles, different thoughts, different attitudes and you also possess a perpetually different self from others. In order to understand someone other than yourself,  you have no other way but to alter/adjust your perceptions to be able to be in their shoes and flow with their thoughts. You might get lost sometimes due to their random speed or weird moving directions, but as long as you’re persevered and heartful enough, you might get the ultimate rhythm. That’s when you understand.

I’m not generous enough to follow everyone’s thoughts, not that everyone wants me as a listener anyway. However, I did/do/will make efforts to those need it truthfully and know how to appreciate my efforts. Too bad, sometimes no matter how much you try, others do not recognize it, or even worse, negate everything. Some just tend to take for granted what they have, only to regret once they’ve lost/stolen/gone.

Even a psychiatrist can not perfectly listen to his patients without misunderstanding since after all, each individual forms a unique structure that no one is able to navigate every corners. Therefore, I would be grateful and appreciative enough when somebody is willing to listen to my stories, putting in his most efforts to understand, though he might left out some details at times. It would be the best if he manages to read through my desires and thoughts but practically, highly unlikely the case. The fact that the person bothers to listen and  bear with you times after times shows how much he cares for and concerns about you. And the fact that he tries persistantly to grasp your feelings indicates his love for you.

Isn’t it more than enough for a meaningful life?

Want to write more but my mind is too messy to arrange emotional thoughts. Leave it to the wind then.

One might think individualistic is selfish, the other might regard it as human nature. Me? I can’t even define individualistic, let alone giving any comments.

People need friends (normal, close, boy/girl friends) to have a sense of belonging and being needed, yet when it comes to benefits, who does not think for himself first? Virtually no one. Some claim to be your friends, talking lame stuff with each other, just to realize themselves in need of you most of the time. Once you’re no more beneficial to the so-called “friends”, you’re categorized as strangers. Don’t accuse them, your behaviour is not of a difference.

What do you say? Because they are not true/close friends. Ahh, how do you recognize such friends? Physically and emotionally close? This standard is questionable to me. Take a look at bgr, physical closeness- more than enough, emotional closeness- supposedly since you tend (or try/pretend) to share everything with your partner. How sure you are that your lover is not thinking for his/herself first? How sure you are that he/she does not act in his/her favor? Sad as it is, when you realize even the one(s) you trust the most and even want to locate him/her at a superior position in your life just simply do not care for you or limit his/her care to a fair level. Don’t be disappointed, your lover is human and he/she needs to protect his/herself. Lesson to be learnt, do not expect too much and be  prepared to do everything yourself, if anything turn wrong, it’s your fault.

You might argue that when people mistreat you, it’s obviously people’s fault. Be practical, who is the one that let people cheat, who is the one that expected too much just to get disappointed eventually? Don’t blame them, not that they want to frustrate you, they accidentially forget your benefits since yours either crash or not related to theirs. It is your stupidity that kill you.

Start a new blog to welcome my 3rd year in NUS with a hope to capture as close/many as possible most memorable events happening in the coming time.